Interesting. Very interesting.

So, the weekend was a whirlwind, per the norm. Now that I have school AND my part-time job AND the photography business, life just goes non-stop. I woke up, did chores, studied while Gus took Chie to the alumni soccer game (it was homecoming weekend at the school where he attended kindergarten through high school and the evening was packed with events, a few of which we attended), and then met them the alumni lunch. Good connections were made and Gus got some fun shots which are up on our photography blog (here). Then I took the Pea home to nap, and then Gus and I traded so that I could go up to work. I think we had dinner, but I honestly don't remember.

Sunday was pretty much the same. We made a more diligent effort to watch our church's general conference but with a toddler traipsing around, I'm not sure how much I really heard. I did get a lot of the house cleaned up and did about seven loads of laundry-- I do small, segmented loads-- and that was nice. Gus made some headway on the website redesign that he's working on for a client and that was nice too. Then I headed up to my office on campus to work on my practicum. And then I came home, chilled a bit, and then made one more trip up to work to finish some filing. Gus made dinner while I was gone and I finally ate at about 9. Woo hoo.

I know, it doesn't sound that interesting, but one very profound thing did come out of the weekend, and that is that I might be changing my major to graphic design. Huge. This is huge. I'm currently a social sciences/psych major, and have had the dream for about ten years to segue from that into grad school in counseling into a practice. But here's the rub: we've now embarked on this completely different path with our business, and I'm really, really loving what we're doing. And the more I've thought about it over the last several weeks the more that I think that diverting my attention to a totally different thing than building the business just seems... odd. I still love the idea of counseling people but I know that I can do that later. When I went to the Lewis and Clark info session, there were two people there in their mid-50's that were making a complete shift into counseling, and the advisors were like, "Yeah, we have people do this all the time." I already have the psych background and I could do post-bac courses if needed. But for now, this may be the more judicious route. If I've calculated correctly, it would only be one more term in school, I'd finally have my degree, and I'd have a much broader base for serving our clients to boot. I have a meeting with an advisor on the 22nd and I'll go from there.

Check, check, check

-- Chie and I got through our morning, even if it was tumultuous. Shopping with a teething toddler is definitely not on my top ten list. I really, really hope that these canines come through soon!

-- I got through two more tests in Behavior Analysis (it's a self-directed course; you read the material and take a quiz)

-- I got through it quickly enough that I had time to come home and edit some photos before pick-up time at Chie's childcare. It's the fastest editing job I've ever done-- 62 photos through Lightroom in 2 days. I have a bit of minor editing to take some spots off under Lizzie's nose and then they're ready for the viewing session tomorrow.

Whew! Off to pick up my crabby baby!

Edit: Oh! Oh! and we're actually having dinner. And it doesn't involve pre-cooked ingredients. We're having cod roasted with white wine, olives, and lemon zest, sauteed kale, and rice. And it's taking me about ten minutes to prepare. How beautiful is that?

In search of managed soil

I feel like an immense weight has been lifted since I finished my last summer session class. I was just feeling so frazzled, in every area of my life, and I don't think that I could have continued much longer. The question, then, is begged: How am I going to do this fall term? Right now I'm registered for 13 credits. We've been discussing the possibility of me taking two night classes, as opposed to two afternoon classes, so that Gus would be home to watch the baby and reduce our childcare expenses. However, my semi-part-time job has the potential to increase, as the board just approved 10 hours a week (and a pay raise!). I don't have to do it but the truth is that I really like my job. I also like feeling like I'm contributing, in a real way, to our finances. Add to that work on our photography business and then the normal life of a wife and mother of a toddler and... I can feel my blood pressure increasing as I type that. Gus and I had a really serious talk the other night about expectations and actually tossed around the idea of doing some couples counseling in an effort to come to more of a meeting place. He tries to help-- he really, honestly does-- but I often feel like what he sees to be done and what's really there to be done are light years apart. We agreed that I would put together a list of everything that needs to be done, which I have yet to do, and I'm hoping that if we can really, for once, get on the same page then it might actually be possible to live a semi-sane life. It will definitely take more organization than I've ever implemented. Even though I like things to run smoothly, I'm really not as fabulous as I often come across at doing things to make that possible. As Gus pointed out, "Some times you slack, and other times you clean obsessively." He's right. And for our life to continue to function at the pace that it has been, and likely will for the foreseeable future, I need to find that middle ground once and for all.

The advent of Swedish goodness

It was a long day yesterday. Long but fun. I woke up for the first time somewhere in the four o'clock hour as Gus printed out directions to our new Ikea. He was the avant-garde, securing places in the line to be among the first to tour the facility. I arrived a few hours later with child and Ikea-rabid neighbors in tow (the occupants of the two apartments downstairs, Jill and Val, are total Ikea devotees. They are best friends and regularly take trips together to what has been our closest store in Seattle. Needless to say, the opening has been eagerly anticipated in our stairwell). We got there at about 8:30, oohed and ahhed over all of the free gear that Gus had acquired, and bided our time. The employees were super pumped and did lots of marching drills, and then the flags were raised and the US and Swedish national anthems were sung. And then we were in. We had to walk through a gauntlet of employees that included screaming and pounding of those little rubber ears that are used at sports events (Chie was NOT a fan of the noise) and then it was up the escalators to the showrooms. We didn't last long there. Both of us decided that we were famished and so we went to the cafe to get breakfast. I had forgotten how cheap their food is! And it's so good too. After breakfast we toodled around for a while but quickly hit the "ok, let's jet" place. Chie was ready for a nap, Gus was past his limit, and the crowds were just increasing. In the end, he took off by himself and I waited a bit longer for J&V to finish their perusing. They were quite satisfied with the new store and bought a few bags worth of stuff: new textiles for V's bed, some cat and baby toys, and lots of food stuffs.

Once we were home we settled back in, but that part was short-lived for me because I had class that afternoon. My second speed class started on Monday; it's two days a week for five hours. I'm really psyched (no pun intended) about the material (the class title is Counseling) and the prof is phenomenal. He actually wasn't there yesterday, though, and instead we got to hear from his recently-former TA. John just finished his Ph.D. program, specializing in addictions and trauma, and the lecture was absolutely fascinating. I did take a 15-minute fiesta sometime around 4:00 because I just couldn't keep my eyes open. I'm very glad that I went, though, and that I actually stayed.

We collectively crashed last night. We traded off baby entertaining and ate fruit for dinner. I think that we were all in bed well before nine, a rarity for us. I'm still a bit wasted today but I have a lot to work on. Hopefully a morning nap will be in order soon.

Earnestly seeking answers

A brief recap: I started college in 1999. I attended part-time and full-time, as finances and health allowed, for the better part of three years. Then we moved to Utah, and when we returned, things were put on hold again so that we could focus on getting Gus through school. He graduated this past summer and more and more, my thoughts have been on finally getting back and finishing my degree.

What that degree will be has been up in the air for a while. I have toyed with the idea of being an LPC (licenced professional counselor), specifically treating eating disorders, since my first semester of college. I battled with bulimia through my teenage years and was finally able to get a handle on it with the help of a dietician and eating disorder therapist. That experience, and the expertise of both of those professionals, has informed much of my desire to go into that field. It was their help that enabled my own efforts to finally take shape towards healing. As I went through my psychology coursework, that experience came back to me again and again and I would think, "Wow. I could be that for someone else." I planned for a long time to go to graduate school and get my masters degree in counseling psychology. But that plan sounded so long and complicated that for a time, I wondered if it might be a smarter option to do something shorter, more practical. Being a dietician seemed to fit the bill. It only requires a bachelor's degree and I thought, "Yay. Best of both worlds-- a meaningful career AND something I can finish quickly."

After much thought and research, I decided to check out the dietetics program at OSU (the only program in our state). I drove down to Corvallis early this week and met with an advisor for the program. And though I'm still interested in the idea, it's less practical than I had thought. Only 20 of my 72 amassed credits will transfer into their program. And I'd have at least three years of coursework ahead of me-- a year or so of general science courses, like biochem and anatomy, and then two years of concentrated dietetics courses. And those two years have to be on campus, in Corvallis. The day that I drove down wasn't too bad. But two years of 160 miles round trip three or four days a week? That might be another situation entirely.

That night when I came home, my mind was having a hard time wrapping around all of the obstacles that had been raised that afternoon. As I sat trying to dialogue it with Gus, he said, "Well, what about grad school?" "Oh yeah," I thought. "What about grad school?" I have about a year and a half left to finish my bachelor's degree if I go back to the path I'd been on. A grad program would be two or three years past that, so the time lines would be fairly equivalent, and in the end, I'd have a graduate degree.

So now I'm back to square one to some extent. I'm exploring grad programs, setting up appointments with some of my psych professors and others who might have insight, making sure that I have all of the information that I need to make a decision that will affect my life, and our life, for years to come. It feels a bit overwhelming but it's also very, very exciting. I'll be writing about this more for sure.